A Lesson from the Saga of Max
Not all Holiday cartoons are 'peace on earth and good will toward Men'.
I received all my Christmas gifts yesterday. The final delivery man was cold, wind-whipped and one has to say, heartbroken when he saw that he could not simply hand off my 32" Samsung LCD HDTV to ME to carry up. That would have been a bit cruel to do to someone whom can barely see over a two foot box she's carrying up the stairs!
Like an impatient child, I tore open the packages as they only arrived to identify my gifts: a Kalyn Raphael raw diamond necklace (my brother BJ); a twill hitch mini skirt, parachute short dress, pious vest and feathers gilet from All Saints (Quinn, my mother's boyfriend); a fur collar from Neiman's (my ex brother-in-law also enclosed a note with an offer to fly me to Florida for the holidays if only I could make it back to North Carolina- I declined); a Japanese paper lantern made to look like a Santa Claus head (my nephew in North Carolina); Bikkemberg athletics, Ballatyne sweaters, Diane von Furstenberg dresses and an Autopsie Vestimentaire dress from yoox.com (my friend Tam is my little bargain hunter and shares her knowledge with my brothers in Ohio!); and a few pieces of Louis Vuitton luggage from my ex-fiance (I am STILL trying to replace things from the fire). As I opened each item and cooed at it, I also contacted each gift-giver by phone, fax, text, V-mail, email or...smoke signal, to thank them profusely. I joked to myself and the puppy I am sitting during the holidays (his mom and dad are in Chicago) that it was a shame I left that Wellendorff Aubergine ring off the list...I may have gotten that too!
The last person thanked (certainly not the least important gift!) was my mother- the 32" LCD. Without her gift I may not have kept up my love of Tuesday evenings...what with the stars on my favorite show's heads so little and the action so grainy on my old television. "Mommie could have sent for you instead of buying you a television", my mother sniffed with melancholy into the phone. I rolled my eyes and smiled, "Yes, but Mummie would you have missed me this much if I were there?" She chuckled at my nonsense and inquired as to why I did not try to catch a train or bus out of NYC to reach North Carolina in enough time that my ex brother-in-law and his co-pilot my brother, could have flown us all down to Florida. I explained how some years I LONGED for family and others I longed for solitude. She could only sigh. "Ever since you were a little girl, you have always seemed to go your own way..." then her voice perked up, "I remember when your father asked you what you learned from 'How The Grinch Stole Christmas' (1966) and you told him that peer pressure was wrong!"
The memory my mother produced was a bit fuzzy but I seem to recall it differently...
I remember sitting on the floor with my paternal cousins who seemed to take glee in getting "Daddie's Little Princess" (read: ME) in trouble. By that time I was wise to them and stayed out of rooms where I was alone with them without adult supervision. To this day I will haughtily announce that they are not- nor have they ever been- as smart as I am. Unfortunately for me, a few of them WERE always more deceitful and mean-spirited. And I too trusting. But as I have said, by this time I was a bit wiser. From the atmosphere of that room and the viewing of that movie, I perceived in Max, The Grinch's dog, a weakness of character surely initiated by his canine-blind loyalty. I experienced this level of DOGmatic loyalty one time as a child. A neighbor had given me a Doberman Pinscher puppy that I named "Princess" for Christmas. I was allowed to keep Princess throughout the season, then she was re-gifted to another family at our church as we were moving by car to another state and it would be awful for a puppy (I was told). I cried my little heart out...and judging from the manner in which I am spoiling this puppy, I STILL have not gotten over it. I digress!
"Max", I told my father as an explanation, "...should have run away when he realized The Grinch's evil plan against the Whos in Whoville." "You can't just runaway from situations like that Princess" my father reasoned. Then I used words I'd over heard my uncle using while describing his two years in Richmond, BC, Canada, "He could have been a 'conscientious objector'." My father laughed so hard I thought he would fall to his knees! I was precocious and at that time knew three languages other than English; my pronunciation was impeccable but my grasping of certain concepts was sometimes too literal. After my father asked where I'd heard that phrase, then explained why my mother sent her youngest brother- her favored sibling- to Canada during the Viet Nam conflict (war), he added, "But I swear I remember your uncle not wanting to go..." My oldest maternal uncle- my mother's older brother- was already in the Navy and overseas. He remained safe and came back 'safe' (as far as I know) and with 'minimal' emotional trauma (God blessed us). Two of my mother's older cousins (a brother and sister) were over there throughout most of the conflict (war); they too came back 'in one piece'. But the thought of her 'baby brother'over there, whom she thought of with the fondness of someone who has kissed chubby cheeks and wiped a nose...was too much.
Years later, I would ask my uncle about his two years there. He told me he enjoyed himself but he truly did not want to go; my father had a good memory. "Then why DID you go?", I asked, by then a 'conscientious objector' to childhood peer pressure on any level. "I went to your mother" he said with a bit of difficulty and a crack in his voice, "and told her my draft card was called...", he looked down at his feet, "You know...they started bringing guys home and I..." he stopped speaking. After a silence I knew even as a child was necessary, he went on, "Your mom really loves me- I know she meant well...but I have NEVER forgiven myself..." He looked at me with a strength in his eyes that seemed absent in his rounded shoulders and failing voice, "I REALLY didn't want to go to Canada...but she and her friends kind of made me feel like I had to!" My mother protested the war because of the hippy in her that screamed, 'make love not war'. So many died and she could not imagine hearing that the person she taught to ride a bike had died before he was even twenty-one.
My lesson to you, dear reader, this holiday season (whichever holiday it may be to you) is to learn your heart and follow it. Your instincts can keep you from life-long regrets. Max the dog was able to redeem himself and his role in the 'grand theft' in Whoville quite quickly, but many of us do not get that chance. I type this...as I sit in my apartment with Jack Frost trying to find his way into my drafty apartment; remembering an instance of draft-dodging; snuggling someone else's puppy; while my family gathers at homes in South Florida; and thanking God that I live my life, mostly, with no regrets.
I received all my Christmas gifts yesterday. The final delivery man was cold, wind-whipped and one has to say, heartbroken when he saw that he could not simply hand off my 32" Samsung LCD HDTV to ME to carry up. That would have been a bit cruel to do to someone whom can barely see over a two foot box she's carrying up the stairs!
Like an impatient child, I tore open the packages as they only arrived to identify my gifts: a Kalyn Raphael raw diamond necklace (my brother BJ); a twill hitch mini skirt, parachute short dress, pious vest and feathers gilet from All Saints (Quinn, my mother's boyfriend); a fur collar from Neiman's (my ex brother-in-law also enclosed a note with an offer to fly me to Florida for the holidays if only I could make it back to North Carolina- I declined); a Japanese paper lantern made to look like a Santa Claus head (my nephew in North Carolina); Bikkemberg athletics, Ballatyne sweaters, Diane von Furstenberg dresses and an Autopsie Vestimentaire dress from yoox.com (my friend Tam is my little bargain hunter and shares her knowledge with my brothers in Ohio!); and a few pieces of Louis Vuitton luggage from my ex-fiance (I am STILL trying to replace things from the fire). As I opened each item and cooed at it, I also contacted each gift-giver by phone, fax, text, V-mail, email or...smoke signal, to thank them profusely. I joked to myself and the puppy I am sitting during the holidays (his mom and dad are in Chicago) that it was a shame I left that Wellendorff Aubergine ring off the list...I may have gotten that too!
The last person thanked (certainly not the least important gift!) was my mother- the 32" LCD. Without her gift I may not have kept up my love of Tuesday evenings...what with the stars on my favorite show's heads so little and the action so grainy on my old television. "Mommie could have sent for you instead of buying you a television", my mother sniffed with melancholy into the phone. I rolled my eyes and smiled, "Yes, but Mummie would you have missed me this much if I were there?" She chuckled at my nonsense and inquired as to why I did not try to catch a train or bus out of NYC to reach North Carolina in enough time that my ex brother-in-law and his co-pilot my brother, could have flown us all down to Florida. I explained how some years I LONGED for family and others I longed for solitude. She could only sigh. "Ever since you were a little girl, you have always seemed to go your own way..." then her voice perked up, "I remember when your father asked you what you learned from 'How The Grinch Stole Christmas' (1966) and you told him that peer pressure was wrong!"
The memory my mother produced was a bit fuzzy but I seem to recall it differently...
I remember sitting on the floor with my paternal cousins who seemed to take glee in getting "Daddie's Little Princess" (read: ME) in trouble. By that time I was wise to them and stayed out of rooms where I was alone with them without adult supervision. To this day I will haughtily announce that they are not- nor have they ever been- as smart as I am. Unfortunately for me, a few of them WERE always more deceitful and mean-spirited. And I too trusting. But as I have said, by this time I was a bit wiser. From the atmosphere of that room and the viewing of that movie, I perceived in Max, The Grinch's dog, a weakness of character surely initiated by his canine-blind loyalty. I experienced this level of DOGmatic loyalty one time as a child. A neighbor had given me a Doberman Pinscher puppy that I named "Princess" for Christmas. I was allowed to keep Princess throughout the season, then she was re-gifted to another family at our church as we were moving by car to another state and it would be awful for a puppy (I was told). I cried my little heart out...and judging from the manner in which I am spoiling this puppy, I STILL have not gotten over it. I digress!
"Max", I told my father as an explanation, "...should have run away when he realized The Grinch's evil plan against the Whos in Whoville." "You can't just runaway from situations like that Princess" my father reasoned. Then I used words I'd over heard my uncle using while describing his two years in Richmond, BC, Canada, "He could have been a 'conscientious objector'." My father laughed so hard I thought he would fall to his knees! I was precocious and at that time knew three languages other than English; my pronunciation was impeccable but my grasping of certain concepts was sometimes too literal. After my father asked where I'd heard that phrase, then explained why my mother sent her youngest brother- her favored sibling- to Canada during the Viet Nam conflict (war), he added, "But I swear I remember your uncle not wanting to go..." My oldest maternal uncle- my mother's older brother- was already in the Navy and overseas. He remained safe and came back 'safe' (as far as I know) and with 'minimal' emotional trauma (God blessed us). Two of my mother's older cousins (a brother and sister) were over there throughout most of the conflict (war); they too came back 'in one piece'. But the thought of her 'baby brother'over there, whom she thought of with the fondness of someone who has kissed chubby cheeks and wiped a nose...was too much.
Years later, I would ask my uncle about his two years there. He told me he enjoyed himself but he truly did not want to go; my father had a good memory. "Then why DID you go?", I asked, by then a 'conscientious objector' to childhood peer pressure on any level. "I went to your mother" he said with a bit of difficulty and a crack in his voice, "and told her my draft card was called...", he looked down at his feet, "You know...they started bringing guys home and I..." he stopped speaking. After a silence I knew even as a child was necessary, he went on, "Your mom really loves me- I know she meant well...but I have NEVER forgiven myself..." He looked at me with a strength in his eyes that seemed absent in his rounded shoulders and failing voice, "I REALLY didn't want to go to Canada...but she and her friends kind of made me feel like I had to!" My mother protested the war because of the hippy in her that screamed, 'make love not war'. So many died and she could not imagine hearing that the person she taught to ride a bike had died before he was even twenty-one.
My lesson to you, dear reader, this holiday season (whichever holiday it may be to you) is to learn your heart and follow it. Your instincts can keep you from life-long regrets. Max the dog was able to redeem himself and his role in the 'grand theft' in Whoville quite quickly, but many of us do not get that chance. I type this...as I sit in my apartment with Jack Frost trying to find his way into my drafty apartment; remembering an instance of draft-dodging; snuggling someone else's puppy; while my family gathers at homes in South Florida; and thanking God that I live my life, mostly, with no regrets.
posted by ScreenGoddessComplex at 11:08 AM
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