Playing Beard, Part One

When he flirts with MEN...should I emote jealousy? Hehee

My introduction as Chester's 'lucky' girlfriend was quite odd. His boyfriend, on his way out-of-town, denied me entry until a few items were cleared up.
"YOU'RE the girl playing his darling?!"
"Yes...", I answered timidly.
After an hour-plus ride from Palm Beach County with the chattiest driver I've ever had; and garment bags stuffed to the gills with dresses, one still wasn't sure were the right fit for the part, I simply wanted to flop on Chester's bed as I had the previous visits; it was so comfortable! He examined me as though he was not sure I was safe for quite a bit, standing with his hand against the doorjamb, blocking my entry. Then, “I am- sure~ you will do well…“, he said eyeing me as bitter, awkward Goth girls eye the lovely Prom Queen. With this greeting I knew was not pleased, to be sure!

Chester has his own room in their condo. I am unclear whom the appearances are kept up for, or whether it is a space issue (Chester is quite the clothes horse!), but it struck me as strange, to be sure. The first time I'd braved a solo excursion to his abode, a 'friend' opened the door. I held out my manicured digits to shake his hand, sure he must be Chester's better-half. "Oh...MAH...gawd! She is such the PBP(Palm Beach Princess)! Ohmagaw', Chessie! You have GOT to see this: there's Lacoste...and pink and a grosgrain ribbon belt and- GASP* those bejeweled pink Manolos with the shiny-shinies and the bows! Awh! And the Birkin to MATCH- I have FOUND perfection! I can die now- goodbye!", he said feigning instantaneous death. He was HIL-larious! "What is that you are rocking on your neck, gurl?", he asked after resuscitation. "I know it's probably a bit much but I simply LOVE this white topaz chandelier necklace, don't you?!-" "CHESSIE~! I am going to steal your new bitch!" Chester seemed to have had enough, "Send her in here and close the door as you leave." As Chester's friend and I went through our greeting, the doorman placed my garment bags very neatly over the back of the sofa and stacked the others on the chaise. 'I simply must remember to tip him on my way out!', I thought to myself as I walked toward Chester's door.

Chester was lying in bed with his face toward the window, blinds open, and an arm covering his face. He was wearing the THINNEST linen sleepers, and nothing else. Literally- nothing else. I was happy his face was covered because I am quite sure one occularily reacted to the...measure of Chester's assets- good Lord! "Would you like me to fetch your robe so you can join me in the sitting room?" He glanced at me then positioned his arm again, "No...but you can join me in bed." As I perched gracefully on an edge of the corner of the mattress, Chester leapt upon me and drug me toward his body with one arm! I feigned reserve; had his arm moved just a bit farther up my body he would have known I was false because my heart was pounding, "Really, Chester...must you be so He-man?" "It's a dramatic role...you have to be prepared for everything..."

Chester has been pretending to desire 'mounting' me since I agreed to my role as 'beard' for the sake of his real estate company. I feel it's a bit 'early-Shatner' for him to play masculine to my feminine in that manner, but he knows better about these things...he played 'hetero' for years. Which is why I was standing at the door so long, with his boyfriend acting as sentinel. Many of my homosexual friends have admitted a dirty little secret: those who enjoyed women (for what it is worth), sometimes miss them- every blue moon. Some have admitted to tryst behind men's backs! Chester enters the room and rescues me from my embarrassment. "Let her in HONEY! No pretty girl is a threat to yew!" He looks at me again, unsure, then removes his hand from the doorjamb, allowing me entry. As I walked in, Chester's boyfriend said, "Your doctor did a GREAT job on your curves- what's his name?", he asked cattily. "Jesus...", I answered. He smiled at what he believed to be a faux pas, "You mean HAY-zeus?-" "No she means, Jesus- you know, Jesus Christ, son of God? That's all natural, baby!" "How would you know?!" Chester pulled me close in a lascivious hug, "Umph! I feel it everytime I do THIS!" Why he felt the need to put me in such a negative position with his boyfriend, I do not know. But my choice of ensemble scored rave reviews with all those in his inner circle that know I am Chester's 'beard'.

"I simply told her 'wear pale green' and she wore THAT!" "Chessie, gurl, you are a lucky man!" I was wearing a mint green sleeveless cheongsam, quite fitted, length to mid-calf. I always like to 'add something' when an item comes off the rack in a foreign country (or take something away since this dress came to me with cap sleeves and a full bodice), I have added a stripe of mint green-and-off white striped ribbon under my bustline and, to the inside of the slit that stops mid-thigh, the most delicate ruffle; almost undetectable to those who do not stare at women's side slits. My outfit that evening at the dinner party brought a smile to Chester's face also: the Temperley London Harmony black and muted gold mini halter dress, and my Louis Vuitton Spicy python sandals (not as comfortable as one imagined since the fringe kept tickling my foot and ankle). "You definitely look like an object of worship in THAT outfit! Those shoes- be still my heart!" It feels good to have a man KNOW how good you look- I mean really know. I think I may develop a strut...

The party the next evening was hectic; too much networking and shooing me away, not enough dancing and complimenting. Then there was the guy: "Hi" "Good evening" I answered scanning the room for Chester. "He's over there", he pointed with the hand holding his drink; I smiled sweetly. "You know...I went to school with Chester for a short time- Gulliver- you know it?" "Yes! My niece and nephew attend." "Hmm...you don't sound like you are from around here-" "Meaning?" He giggled, "Trust me- It's a compliment! You sound WELL-educated, like you were encouraged to mind your Ps and Qs instead of encouraged to participate in random debauchery-" "Are you trying to give me a hint about you and Chester's school days, then?" I asked, raising a brow. I was in no mood to deal with a spurned lover from Chester's past- male-female dynamics be damned! "HA! Nope! I just remember something very specific about him- that's all", he said attempting to set me up for the cut down. "That's a GREAT dress you're wearing, by the way...and those shoes are amazing! What are those?" "Python- they are Louboutin-" "Wow! How'd they get the skin to do that ruffled thing?" After being around Chester that seemed to know EVERYTHING about what was choice, this guy sounded learning disabled, but he was really just like every other guy I dated. "So that dress is pretty shiny-" "Sequins! It is an All Saint's Murcia- modeled from the twenties-" "So it's like...vintage?" "LIKE vintage- BUT NOT." My patience were thin with him, for some reason. Chester walked up when I was ready to makeup a lie about a sore appendage and excuse myself.

"Hey man! I was just tellin' your- GIRL I used to go to Gulliver with you-" "YES! You were seasonal- from New York, right?" "Yeah Yeah! But ahh...you seemed a little different then...you know..." Chester jumped in before he crassly began utilizing archaic euphemisms, "I WAS a little different then, but it makes me a better man for her now, got it?" The guy, who'd been leaning on a decorative divider stood up straight and smoothed down his hair, "Better, huh?-" "The BEST!", and with that Chester pulled me close, squeezed my bottom and began nibbling on my ear and neck. I instinctively made one of those cute noises I can not help but make when someone touches that part of my neck; this only fueled Chester's naughtiness. I unaware of just when the guy excused himself; Chester was fully willing to keep groping me in public! I whispered chastisements to him as I held him close- people were still watching. When I was quite done, he whispered, "I think I need to move you closer to me..." The next day at work, Chester began going through vacancy listings to find the perfect temporary abode for me in Miami Beach. Closer you see…



A move out of my mother's home, to a KA! location in the choicest real estate around? One of us is dreaming...someone's dreaming because mother will definitely fight it, so WAKE UP!