Linking Circles

Fashion is a bit more defining these days: the style you wear is like a code that spells out who you are more often than you might think. But don't be pigeonholed!

My friend Cherese is wearing an Against My Killer tee that dismally states "Nobody Lives Forever" and a pair of jeans by the same designer that are Polyurethane-coated and black stretch boots from VictoriasSecret.com. She is not a treehugger; she shrugged after we saw Al Gore's documentary on global warming and never recycles.

My friend Tam is wearing Blue Blood brand darkwash skinny jeans. These are by far the skinnest skinny jeans I have ever seen. Not that they are super tight- they just give the illusion of anorexic proportions on those of an average weight. She is also wearing a Desiwear tee that reads "Bollywood Dance Academy" that she stole from me two years ago and Steve Madden navy colored high-heeled suede ankle boots. She said that recently people have been making comments like 'Asian girls don't normally have butts that big/hips that wide'...I think the outfit is a backlash.

Tam's brother Kin-Ken is wearing a "Crowned" Sean John hoodie that he had his sister Tam sew an old blue batik print shirt into the hood and lower back of as a lining because he thought the buttondown was too 'ethnic'. With his creativity I told him he should go into fashion design; whenever we are out and people see that the hoodie is Sean John but see the lining, they ask him where he got it because they want one too. He also is wearing the Gear Jeans by Sean John and suede Puma Rudolf Dassler Expressionismus tennies. Ken-Ken credits hiphop for teaching him English faster. He says he relates to the struggle to remain within ones culture while striving to succeed in another culture's financial system.

My Mike is wearing a cream-colored shetland wool sweater, wide wale corduroys from Land's End and a blue and green plaid L.L. Bean buttondown and blue wool socks with the L.L. Bean snowchaser boots. In my mind he looks so suburban I expect Hillary Clinton to burst through the door begging him for his vote. He is a Shaker kid and can't help wearing the 'uniform' of the suburbs.

And what am I wearing? A Kensie Girl tube dress in mint (Spring is here!) over my True Religion Candace wide-leg jeans, with a cream colored VS body-hugging cardigan and wrapped in a mint green pashmina. My knit cream-colored platform boots I got from Payless in October round off my outfit. Everything I have on is either discounted or went on sale before I thought about buying it! I have been watching my budget since that last bout with unemployment.

To see us scattered about the room, the casual observer might think 'wonder who trapped them in the same room?' But what ties me to Tam is our struggle during college as older students; to Ken-Ken, a love of hiphop in its purer form; to Cherese, our sorority; and Mike is my date. Although quite different, our values are very similar and they are all bound by their relationships to me. This weekend I went bowling with some coworkers and their friends: there was a self-described Goth girl who was channeling Betty Page and her boyfriend with as many piercings as Christina Aguilera; two fifty year olds that enjoy not acting their age; a self-described thug (he's a family man!); two A & F model types; and a twenty-one year old ex jock with his high school sweetheart that is only twenty. I was the link, once again.

I once had a lengthy discussion in one of my post RE: the many style fazes I have gone through. The attitudes that went along with these styles weren't abandoned...just the clothes. I still enjoy being around people who do not bow to peer pressure and can be themselves no matter where they are. Your self expression is piercing? Have at it! You are a natural redhead and dye your hair jet black and draw in your eyebrows with dark eyeliner? Do your stuff! You're fifty and act twenty-five (in a fun way)? Just do it! You think a eight month stint in county gives you street cred? Be the best baby thug you can be! You and your best friend look like models but love 'slumming' for dates? Feel free! You and your girlfiend are so young you still relive high school memories? Whatever makes you happy! How do I fit into this? I hired at least three of these people and had opportunities to save the jobs of the others. My open-minded but firm attitude earned their respect at one time or another. Their supervisors love them because they are hard workers even though they appear to be 'outliers'.

Speaking as one who has been an outlier for years, try not to judge the book by it's cover. It's a shame but all that individuality we fostered in the nineties has been backlashed by the younger generations labelling one another like they are in a John Hughes film. Hot Topic, Yoox.com, Neiman's, Bebe...it doesn't matter where you shop, remember to express your true self!


My look now is so soft I'm sure my friends are wondering what I am 'feeling' underneath all the comfort materials and clothing...they will know shortly, to be sure.