Selling Society

It's the M.~ and Robin show!


I met Mrs. F. through Robin. Robin felt deeply for me when I told her my relatives in Ohio seemed to shun me the more rooted in my spirituality I became. This attitude, in essence, 'cut me off' from some very important personal and professional contacts in the community. With not one human credential from a family member, people tend to view you as a bit of a pariah. "It's the 'honesty is the best policy' thing isn't it?" Robin asked one evening. "Perhaps it is a bit of past transgressions and the 'honesty is the best policy' thingy" I rationalized. When people are keeping secrets in order to hold on to denial, the most dangerous person to have about is a truth addict.

In an effort to help, Robin has been holding salons and taking me to teas and brunches on weekends with her friends; most importantly, her African-American friends. "You are such a positive, intelligent person...if having contacts in your community is important to you- it's important to me!" Sometimes, one wants to adopt her! One afternoon, Robin called Mrs. F. and asked if she would be busy that day. Mrs. F. mentioned an early hair appointment and said she would be free for the rest of the day. "Good!" Robin exclaimed, "I am bringing over a very special friend of mine." When Mrs. F. inquired as to whom, Robin played coy and answered, "A friend from my church organization", and got off the call. We arrived around 1100AM, and Robin let me out at the door so she could park a little farther down the lane. She encouraged me to knock and enter since it was chilly outside (it wasn't chilly- this is Cleveland- it was cold!), and I did.

"Oh! Who are you?" Mrs. F. answered the door, startled. "I am M.~, Robin's friend". Mrs. F. eyed me suspiciously, then asked, "Aren't you their MAID?!" I giggled and responded, "No, I was simply helping Robin out while her maid was on maternity leave." I took a step forward and Mrs. F. literally held out her hand, pursed her lips and shook her head, barring my entrance. Robin bounced up the walk, smiling "N--, this is M.~- you remember seeing her at my house, right?" Mrs. F.'s demeanor completely changed when Robin reached the door; she gave Robin a half hug with one arm...the same arm she'd just used to bar me from entering. "How have you been, girl? Come in, come in, it's cold!" she stated as she beckoned for Robin to enter. I just stood there- mainly because I was so shocked at her behavior before Robin came to the door. "Are you coming Sweetie?" Robin asked, jarring me from my state of disbelief. I slowly entered, uncertain of what I was entering into.

We all sat down and Robin and Mrs. F. caught up on their recent fetes. "Did you go to the Romanov's Chunakah celebration?-" "No but I heard that was some Menorah!" "Now THAT'S a lawn ornament!" I sat quietly, smiling at the appropriate moments, uncomfortable beyond repair. Robin began what had become a familiar monologue about me- almost a verbal Curriculum Vitae. This time she added, "I thought you and your husband might want to give M.~ your extra tickets, since your sons won't be back in town." Mrs. F. seemed aghast. "Oh-oww..." she managed after thirty seconds. "Well, that is something to think about..." She looked at me with a mixture of fascination and disgust. After being in her home for an hour, I just really began looking at her. I studied her face and realized she reminded me of some of the women on my father's side of the family from Louisiana- physically and in snobbery.

Robin's cell rang and she excused herself to the guest room off from the foyer. We were both silent, I was staring out the window. "So-" Mrs. F. finally broke the silence, "Why do YOU think Robin would introduce me to THE HELP as her new best friend?!" "Excuse me?" "You won't get your hands on any tickets that were given to my family; I won't have people associating you with me!" Robin re-entered the room and as if by divine intervention, I remembered a close family friend that had dealings with Mrs. F.'s husband when I was a child growing up here. I casually mentioned their family's name and a funny situation we'd all be in. While I was re-counting the story, Robin gave me eye contact and I noticed with my peripheral vision Mrs. F. was whipping her head back and forth between my face and Robin's; as though she were at Wimbledon. I told a few more anecdotes concerning my childhood and events I remembered from being in Cleveland previously; Mrs. F. was sitting on the edge of her chair as though she would jump up any moment to shake my hand and welcome me...the opposite of her prior bearing.

"Well! I think I know your family- surely I know your social circle!" Mrs. F. exclaimed. She tapped my knee and smiled, "I bet you would enjoy going to that affair Robin mentioned I have tickets for, with my nephew!" She seemed so gleeful; anyone that changeable cannot be trusted. "I would truly appreciate that Mrs. F., unfortunately I am involved with someone and he may want to be my escort." "Always the Deb, always that ladylike politeness!" she exclaimed, "Who are his people?" After describing their history and present whereabouts, she was estatic. "Oh! I am going to LOVE showing you two off! I have to make some phone calls; Robin, M.~ help yourselves to snacks, or whatever." I knew the TYPE of people she would call; although my family had not been eager to help me, they would not deny me or hinder me. "Robin-" Robin turned toward me and grabbed my hand, "Let's go eat!" "But, Robin-", as Robin drug me toward the kitchen, I felt compelled to tell her about the incident at the door and 'THE HELP' comment. She went pale. "M.~ if I ever thought she was that type of person...it's like a disease isn't it?" "Snobbery?" "Yes" "Yes it is. But don't mention it, I would really like to go-" "But how can you be around her- I wouldn't be comfortable letting you go and be around someone that acts that way!" As my new numinary, Robin was maternally protective. "I'll be fine" I assured her, "We can sit at another table and let her pretend we are the best things since sliced bread." Robin laughed, but I could tell she was still uncomfortable. We didn't eat; instead we got the tickets and made an excuse to say our farewells.

As we reached the door, Mrs. F. tapped my shoulder, forcefully. When I turned toward her she whispered, "That little thing earlier...you never know who someone is so you can't let everyone in...I know where you are from now, so I'll take care of you." I smiled gently and exited the door. I felt like Faust. Did I really want to enter this circle again?


The Midwest is defined by it's cliques and The Four-Hundreds of each major city- in every culture. But once you are IN you feel like the pawns in "Dangerous Liaisons" (1988). One has heard the only thing worse than being 'ousted' by these people is to be ignored.