Who is this?!
Half-asleep, I answered my cellie...
"Hmm...hello?"
"Do you know Vince Vaughn?"
"Who IS this~?!"
It was my ex-boyfriend, Rey Diaz-Balart. I did not know why he was asking this weird question, but I was happy to identify his voice. "Are you accusing me of something untoward based on a rumor you heard on the left coast?" "No it is just...Nevermind." The movie "Couples' Retreat" (2009) began to surface in my groggy memory and I knew instantly why he was asking. "You think I know him because of the compliment you paid me at that costume party when I was dressed as a mermaid?" "Well...", he whispered sheepishly, "yes..." I want to die and come back as one of the truly arrogant and self-important people that believe they 'invented' the usage of certain words and phrases. Like, Paris Hilton who tried to trademark a phrase my friends and I were saying before she could spell "copyright"(like when she was in eighth grade!).
"Sweetie, you were not the first, nor the only person to use the word 'Asstastic'", "I know- but it just made me think of you and that crush-" My crush on VINCENT D'Onofrio is well-documented on this blog; just because he and Vince Vaughn have been labelled 'friends'(whatever that means in Hollywood), I explained, does not mean that A) VDO reads these blog entries and B) tells his 'friend' Vince about random babblings from my ex-boyfriends. I simply cannot entertain that thought, I am not that crazy yet. Or am I?
Here are a few more phrases Mr. D'Onofrio and Mr. Vaughn, that I would like to hear utilized in your next films:
GAGGING FUNK: something so stinky it gets caught in your throat and cuts off your air.
CRYSTAL BLUE PERSPIRATION (taken from that song by Tommy James & The Shondells reduxed by Boy George): when a club bunny (perpetual female clubber) sweats her body glitter down to her jean's waistband, where it collects and rubs off on the club guest sofas.
And let us not forget my fav, KA!: KICK ASSssszzz! Something in a Vince Vaughn film is bound to warrant this compliment.
Have fun and keep laughing. M.~
"Hmm...hello?"
"Do you know Vince Vaughn?"
"Who IS this~?!"
It was my ex-boyfriend, Rey Diaz-Balart. I did not know why he was asking this weird question, but I was happy to identify his voice. "Are you accusing me of something untoward based on a rumor you heard on the left coast?" "No it is just...Nevermind." The movie "Couples' Retreat" (2009) began to surface in my groggy memory and I knew instantly why he was asking. "You think I know him because of the compliment you paid me at that costume party when I was dressed as a mermaid?" "Well...", he whispered sheepishly, "yes..." I want to die and come back as one of the truly arrogant and self-important people that believe they 'invented' the usage of certain words and phrases. Like, Paris Hilton who tried to trademark a phrase my friends and I were saying before she could spell "copyright"(like when she was in eighth grade!).
"Sweetie, you were not the first, nor the only person to use the word 'Asstastic'", "I know- but it just made me think of you and that crush-" My crush on VINCENT D'Onofrio is well-documented on this blog; just because he and Vince Vaughn have been labelled 'friends'(whatever that means in Hollywood), I explained, does not mean that A) VDO reads these blog entries and B) tells his 'friend' Vince about random babblings from my ex-boyfriends. I simply cannot entertain that thought, I am not that crazy yet. Or am I?
Here are a few more phrases Mr. D'Onofrio and Mr. Vaughn, that I would like to hear utilized in your next films:
GAGGING FUNK: something so stinky it gets caught in your throat and cuts off your air.
CRYSTAL BLUE PERSPIRATION (taken from that song by Tommy James & The Shondells reduxed by Boy George): when a club bunny (perpetual female clubber) sweats her body glitter down to her jean's waistband, where it collects and rubs off on the club guest sofas.
And let us not forget my fav, KA!: KICK ASSssszzz! Something in a Vince Vaughn film is bound to warrant this compliment.
Have fun and keep laughing. M.~
Labels: Giant raspberry to you Rey
posted by ScreenGoddessComplex at 6:38 PM
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