"The Hand That Rocks The Cradle..."

NO! I am nothing like Paige that delightfully dishy and demonic creation in the 1992 film! This is my tribute to the few months I spent being a caregiver here in South Florida. Kisses, M.~


I awaken to my youngest sister thrusting her sunshine-faced infant toward me at 645 AM. 'WHY does she get here so blasted early?!' I wonder to myself, as I beg five minutes to brush my teeth and wash my face. My sister accomodates me by placing Makayla in her stroller and wheeling her into the bathroom with me. "My shift doesn't bloody well start until seven!" I crank in futility. I manage to wash my face, brush my teeth and even re-do my fuzzy bun, which was victimized by the hot/cold of the off/on of the A/C during the evening due to my mother's menopausal flashes. "How's Auntie now, Lovey?" I ask my niece. She smiles with her tongue out and giggles causing me to laugh at her nickname "Jordan" (as in No. 23 bay-bee!).

I sing "Wonder" by Natalie Merchant to my niece strolling down the corridor. As I pass the entryway to the family room, my sister turns the volume of the TV up as Sir Mix-A-Lot sings the lyrics "Baby got back!". this is a not-so-subtle reference to a 'contest' we held for most protruding derriere, with my mother as judge- I won! I stop singing to do a gratuitous 'booty shake' then continue singing to her daughter.

I arrive in Joshie's room, the oldest of my mother's foster children. I grab the laundry sac from under his crayon-colored hamper and dump his clothing into it. Yes, it is laundry day! he fakes slumber to get his morning kiss; I oblige as is our ritual: (smack*!) "Oh! I kissed a prince...and now he's A FROG!" He giggles mischieviously and leaps about his bed, croaking. As I am leaving, he notices the laundry sac, runs to his felt wall calendar to check the day of the week, then asks, "Auntie, can I help you with the laundry?" I thank him but decline his offer; he looks wounded, but he will be okay...he's four.

I make my way to his sisters' room down the hall, and upon entering, am greeted in unison "Good Morning Auntie Iloveyou!" For those of you who don't actually know me, my name is not I love you, however, I have said this phrase so many times to nieces, nephews and godchildren that the nomicker has stuck. "Good morning Auntie's little angels!" I answer back. As I lift them from their beds to kiss them, I spy their brother peeking at me from the door. I empty their Dora hamper and promise to return to dress them in short order. As I drag the sac down the corridor, Joshie leaps onto the sac for a ride- causing my load to be a great deal heavier than it need be. As I round the entryway into the family room, pushing a stroller and dragging a laundry sac with a toddler on it, my sister pulls a 'what the hell?' face. I shake my head as if to say 'don't ask'. I realize that I must get him off the bag if I am to make it through the rec room, living room, dining room and kitchen to the laundry room. But I mustn't SEE him: he is wearing his Batman cape and utility belt, which means he is in batman-invisible-stealth mode. I cannot ruin his imagination this early. "WHY is this sac so heavy?!" I wonder aloud. He giggles. "Ugh! Maybe something is dragging it down..." I begin to feel blindly about the bag and when I touch his 'invisible' form, I gasp and rear back in mock surprise. He giggles wildly rolling about the sac and exposing his utility belt buttons. I push them carelessly and 'accidently' remove his stealth mode. "It's Joshie!" I call out; my sister joins in with an amazed " REAL-LY?!" He falls off the sac lost in his own amusement. "You really should tell your sisters how you just fooled the Aunts." I encourage. My ruse works and Super stealth Joshie jets off to relay his adventure to his sisters.

By the time Makayla and I reach the laundry rooom, I am singing "I'm Bossy!" by Kelis (changing the lyrics to suit the baby) because she has begun to fuss at not being held. It calms her and then I begin singing a smoother song "Don't Go" by En Vogue. My mother walks in and mimicks me...the best she can. My niece notices the difference in our...range and seems startled. "Mommy you're scaring the baby!" I chide. "All those voice lessons I paid for for YOU and not one for myself." My mother whines. "One can't learn to train a voice by osmosis" I tease.

I make my way back to the wing where the children and I sleep to dress them for breakfast and school. As I dress each child I go over their Learning Tree exercises (a supplemental curriculum I developed back in high school...when I thought I wanted to be a teacher). We eat breakfast and I wave my mother, sister and the children off as Makayla dozes in my arms. I put the baby down for her morning nap and call the car service to confirm. I have never had a driver's license...EVER! No one batted an eye when I lived in NY, but here...my mother and ex-husband found a wonderful company years ago that specializes in the fearful, aged and (like me) clueless.

I make my daily calls and clean the house. My volunteer work keeps me sane; my friends keep me normal. My BF begins her call by singing repeatedly "VIP passes for our fine asses!" and ends with the latest gossip from the Rez. Broken Arrow and Bad River NEVER seemed as interesting when I lived on the Rez, however, the Seminoles seem to have their own 'nation' of soap operas going on. Or maybe I did not notice because I was a child. My lovely niece and I go for a stroll, which is cut short by construction. We resign ourselves to sitting in the backyard in the shade...I wish for a dip in the pool but I refuse to even get close to the enclosed area with the baby in tow.

We finish our errands and meet the family at home for dinner. I hand my niece off to her dad and mom and read a story to the children. My day finally done, I go hunting through my closet for something to wear...I sniff my hair and realize it still smells like baby puke....by later this evening it will smell like my shampoo and THE CLUB...the life of a part-time caregiver.



Family is always different. When I was an Au Pair I had boundaries for my employers...and A LIFE! Still I would not trade this episode in my life for the world!