Obligatory Happiness
The original context of NOBLESSE OBLIGE was the maintaining of social traditions and duties by the nobility. On recent occasions, we have seen the 'les bourgeoisies' hold truer to their social dictes than...the HEIRESSES of the world. Fighting in clubs; making home porn- where are the handlers people!
A close friend brought to my attention recently that I am very conservative. Since she too seems a bit 'stiff' at times, my curiosity was heightened and I wanted to know in what context she meant. "It just seems that even around your family you are not allowed to DO certain things. Like when your mother came here (to Cleveland) before you moved...you all act like there is some etiquette book you are following."
This surely is not the first time one has heard this. I once had a woman at work who always seemed to feel the need to say insulting or gauche things in my presence tell me flat out she thought I was daffed. I humored her by asking why she made that judgment and she said with a sinister grin, "You don't even REALIZE when people are insulting you!" Her mistake! I corrected her by allowing her a 'peek' into my world of social accomodation: If the rule is 'if you haven't anything nice to say...don't say anything at all' then when someone says something untoward or false it is proper manners to IGNORE the statement or (my favorite action) turn the insult on it's ear.
Like the time a very unhappy fellow over heard me speaking with some other people about the "Charlie's Angels" film. He knew of my presence on this planet maybe a month but had formulated the same assumption as my erring coworker. I mentioned being most fond of Lucy Liu's character; he blurted out that I was more like the ditzy character Cameron Diaz played. I turned to him with a pleasant smile and stated, "I truly wish I was! With legs that long I would be dangerous!" He shook his head in disgust and walked away.
Here's a tip for any of you so downtrodden by your misery that you cannot stand to see those you would describe as perpetually happy and deem ignorant or soft in the brain: we know the secret to true happiness and that is why we do not walk about surly and curdish...it's schadenfreude! Ah yes! Everytime I realize that my perkiness is 'bothering' someone I turn it up a notch; I want to see if their head will explode from negativity. I am often happy simply because others feel I should be weighed down by my years. HELL-looo! There is a reason I still get mistaken for a person much younger than I am (and no it has nothing to do with being naive), it's called smiling and being proactive instead of frowning and trying to gloom others down with you.
Within my family we discuss politics, the environment and social disasters like adult children who seem to have no respect for themselves or the legacy of their parents in their social circle. GIRLS GONE WILD just screams 'I hate myself AND my family!' What guy wants to buy a tape and see his drunken sister on it? I know at least one of my four brothers has to view porn...why would I scar him like that? If you have daddie issues seek therapy; if your mother is a control freak- dodge her; if someone touched you wrong when you were a child don't weigh down some poor fellow in a relationship with all your subsequent issues...get help!
And by no means come by my family's homes hoping to drone on about gossip or other unsavory topics...the conversation my just turn to shoes right in the middle of your sentence.
What my family does is not always right; of course that means it is not always wrong either. I have met family units that THRIVE on negativity...to each his own!
A close friend brought to my attention recently that I am very conservative. Since she too seems a bit 'stiff' at times, my curiosity was heightened and I wanted to know in what context she meant. "It just seems that even around your family you are not allowed to DO certain things. Like when your mother came here (to Cleveland) before you moved...you all act like there is some etiquette book you are following."
This surely is not the first time one has heard this. I once had a woman at work who always seemed to feel the need to say insulting or gauche things in my presence tell me flat out she thought I was daffed. I humored her by asking why she made that judgment and she said with a sinister grin, "You don't even REALIZE when people are insulting you!" Her mistake! I corrected her by allowing her a 'peek' into my world of social accomodation: If the rule is 'if you haven't anything nice to say...don't say anything at all' then when someone says something untoward or false it is proper manners to IGNORE the statement or (my favorite action) turn the insult on it's ear.
Like the time a very unhappy fellow over heard me speaking with some other people about the "Charlie's Angels" film. He knew of my presence on this planet maybe a month but had formulated the same assumption as my erring coworker. I mentioned being most fond of Lucy Liu's character; he blurted out that I was more like the ditzy character Cameron Diaz played. I turned to him with a pleasant smile and stated, "I truly wish I was! With legs that long I would be dangerous!" He shook his head in disgust and walked away.
Here's a tip for any of you so downtrodden by your misery that you cannot stand to see those you would describe as perpetually happy and deem ignorant or soft in the brain: we know the secret to true happiness and that is why we do not walk about surly and curdish...it's schadenfreude! Ah yes! Everytime I realize that my perkiness is 'bothering' someone I turn it up a notch; I want to see if their head will explode from negativity. I am often happy simply because others feel I should be weighed down by my years. HELL-looo! There is a reason I still get mistaken for a person much younger than I am (and no it has nothing to do with being naive), it's called smiling and being proactive instead of frowning and trying to gloom others down with you.
Within my family we discuss politics, the environment and social disasters like adult children who seem to have no respect for themselves or the legacy of their parents in their social circle. GIRLS GONE WILD just screams 'I hate myself AND my family!' What guy wants to buy a tape and see his drunken sister on it? I know at least one of my four brothers has to view porn...why would I scar him like that? If you have daddie issues seek therapy; if your mother is a control freak- dodge her; if someone touched you wrong when you were a child don't weigh down some poor fellow in a relationship with all your subsequent issues...get help!
And by no means come by my family's homes hoping to drone on about gossip or other unsavory topics...the conversation my just turn to shoes right in the middle of your sentence.
What my family does is not always right; of course that means it is not always wrong either. I have met family units that THRIVE on negativity...to each his own!
Labels: Positivity, Social Graces
posted by ScreenGoddessComplex at 2:26 PM
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