Musings from THE PLAYGROUND
Or how to pass the time between fetes.
For anyone who reads my blog on a regular basis...WHY AREN'T YOU GETTING DRESSED FOR MY PARTY?!! Just kidding! But seriously, are you coming on-time or not? This is why people got bumped off the guest list in 2002...is your learning curve A FLAT LINE?! Get dressed THEN read this!
Any-hoo, it is my birthday...and apparently I take my celebrations (there are always more than one since my twenty-first) quite seriously. My brunch was the cat's meow and now I am lounging at Cassie's Mom's house in Palm Beach. It is a farewell sort of sunbathing as her mother, tired of dealing with the people who find her property on hotstays.com, has put the estate up for sale. I loved being able to enjoy riding, sunbathing and (in the evening) partying all in the same general area. Alas, her mother is refusing to deal with her Wellington, FL property anymore. It's one of the places I can sunbathe COMPLETELY nude. I am not one for tanning booths (eechy!) or spray-on tans; catching coodies from someone else's sweat or looking like a DORITO simply are not my cup-o-tea (to all you celebs- you've been TANGOED!). Cassie is sleeping under a parasol and I'm clicking away on her laptop.
The fun began when Cassie picked me up...
"M.~ mikins! Ohmigawd! Are those REAL? Please say they're real because if they aren't and you got a boob job, you were in the Midwest TOO LONG because that screams de classe..."
"CASSIE!"
(She pokes one of my breast, insulting me further)"WOW! They ARE real! You b--ch, how'd you grow t-ts? You're like ANA still, right?"(A reference to my past eating disorder)
"LET'S start over...Hello, I am M.~ and you are?"
"S--t! I'm tweakin' let's ride!"
I met Cassie when she began attending FIU because she got kicked out of UM and needed to be as close to SoBe as she could get on weekdays. She was a friend's roomie and from the moment I met her she began scaring me:
"Hey you're hot; what are you doing tonight?"
"Ex-squeeze me?!"
"I'm not trying to f--k you, I need a double for these East-of-Hampton guys I'm going out with tonight. You game?"
(My friend -her roomie- is slightly insulted)"Cassie WHY didn't you ask ME to be your double?"
(Cassie frowns then gets blunt)"Do you even KNOW what 'East-of-Hampton' means?"
(My friend sheepishly admits she doesn't)"So are you game RED?"
"Why me?"
"YOU know what 'East-of-Hampton' means right? I'm sure they have hit on you at least once...They seem to be drawn to redheads..."
"I get the gist but why "East-of-Hampton"?"
"Don't they totally act like Hamptonites on vaca (vay-kay)? They all live in the East...Get it?!"
"Weird!"
"Are you game?!"
"Sure...why not...just promise you won't call then that to their faces. It might be insulting..."
"Red you are hil-larious!"
We had a great WEEK being pampered and preened and it was almost a shame to return to campus. I found out Cassie's Mom had been a regular Extra on seventies shows like Charlie's Angels and The Rockford Files, whenever they needed a blonde hottie. She met Cassie's stepdad (Cassie and her Mom describe her biological father as a gorgeous wanna-be actor gone waiter)while he was scamming burgeoning starlets into thinking he was an agent. Even though Cassie's Mom saw through the scam, she began dating him anyway and as a very successful attorney, he was able to spoil her rotten. The house in Wellington was a vacation home and now has gone the way of the DoDo.
Cassie keeps looking for the same, but I think she can do better than a sugar-daddy. She's too smart for that! Oh look, she's stirring. I suppose we will call up the 'assistants' she is getting US for MY birthday and get ready.
Kisses,
M.~
For anyone who reads my blog on a regular basis...WHY AREN'T YOU GETTING DRESSED FOR MY PARTY?!! Just kidding! But seriously, are you coming on-time or not? This is why people got bumped off the guest list in 2002...is your learning curve A FLAT LINE?! Get dressed THEN read this!
Any-hoo, it is my birthday...and apparently I take my celebrations (there are always more than one since my twenty-first) quite seriously. My brunch was the cat's meow and now I am lounging at Cassie's Mom's house in Palm Beach. It is a farewell sort of sunbathing as her mother, tired of dealing with the people who find her property on hotstays.com, has put the estate up for sale. I loved being able to enjoy riding, sunbathing and (in the evening) partying all in the same general area. Alas, her mother is refusing to deal with her Wellington, FL property anymore. It's one of the places I can sunbathe COMPLETELY nude. I am not one for tanning booths (eechy!) or spray-on tans; catching coodies from someone else's sweat or looking like a DORITO simply are not my cup-o-tea (to all you celebs- you've been TANGOED!). Cassie is sleeping under a parasol and I'm clicking away on her laptop.
The fun began when Cassie picked me up...
"M.~ mikins! Ohmigawd! Are those REAL? Please say they're real because if they aren't and you got a boob job, you were in the Midwest TOO LONG because that screams de classe..."
"CASSIE!"
(She pokes one of my breast, insulting me further)"WOW! They ARE real! You b--ch, how'd you grow t-ts? You're like ANA still, right?"(A reference to my past eating disorder)
"LET'S start over...Hello, I am M.~ and you are?"
"S--t! I'm tweakin' let's ride!"
I met Cassie when she began attending FIU because she got kicked out of UM and needed to be as close to SoBe as she could get on weekdays. She was a friend's roomie and from the moment I met her she began scaring me:
"Hey you're hot; what are you doing tonight?"
"Ex-squeeze me?!"
"I'm not trying to f--k you, I need a double for these East-of-Hampton guys I'm going out with tonight. You game?"
(My friend -her roomie- is slightly insulted)"Cassie WHY didn't you ask ME to be your double?"
(Cassie frowns then gets blunt)"Do you even KNOW what 'East-of-Hampton' means?"
(My friend sheepishly admits she doesn't)"So are you game RED?"
"Why me?"
"YOU know what 'East-of-Hampton' means right? I'm sure they have hit on you at least once...They seem to be drawn to redheads..."
"I get the gist but why "East-of-Hampton"?"
"Don't they totally act like Hamptonites on vaca (vay-kay)? They all live in the East...Get it?!"
"Weird!"
"Are you game?!"
"Sure...why not...just promise you won't call then that to their faces. It might be insulting..."
"Red you are hil-larious!"
We had a great WEEK being pampered and preened and it was almost a shame to return to campus. I found out Cassie's Mom had been a regular Extra on seventies shows like Charlie's Angels and The Rockford Files, whenever they needed a blonde hottie. She met Cassie's stepdad (Cassie and her Mom describe her biological father as a gorgeous wanna-be actor gone waiter)while he was scamming burgeoning starlets into thinking he was an agent. Even though Cassie's Mom saw through the scam, she began dating him anyway and as a very successful attorney, he was able to spoil her rotten. The house in Wellington was a vacation home and now has gone the way of the DoDo.
Cassie keeps looking for the same, but I think she can do better than a sugar-daddy. She's too smart for that! Oh look, she's stirring. I suppose we will call up the 'assistants' she is getting US for MY birthday and get ready.
Kisses,
M.~
Labels: birthday, Florida, sugar daddies, summer homes
posted by ScreenGoddessComplex at 1:14 PM
1 Comments:
Well, Tillie, it seems my invite got lost in the mail. I would not have been on time and I probably would not have had anything to wear anyway. I know I coud not have been bumped off your list from 2002 since I did not know you then. If you come to NY in March, we can have our own special party. If I start looking now, I might find something to wear. We are headed to NY in a couple of weeks for 5 days. I may have to go shopping. I have shrunk out of most of my clothes. What I do have isn't cut out for NY night life. It is barely suitable for teaching...but wtf do I care. I am a f'in math teacher. I should be able to dress as pathetic as I want...I earned it...lol.
Glad you had a fun birthday!
Magia
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